Offbeat bride: creative alternatives for independent brides

Introduction: How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Bride

Part 1. Otherwise Engaged

1. The Pressure & the Proposal

Knowing When (& Whether) to Say "I Do"

2. Okay, Fine: We're Getting Married

Broadcasting the News via Phone, Email, Blog, Smoke Signal, etc.

3. Location, Location, Location

Picking the Where & When of the Wedding

4. Save-the-Date Cards

STD: An Acronym from a Simpler Time

5. One Ring to Rule them all

Who Knew One Piece of Jewelry Could Be So Loaded?

6. Let's Get this Party Started (or not)

Bridesboys, Groomsgirals & Wedding Parties

7. WWW.Ourweddingfaq.Com

Behold the "Wedsite" & Online Nuptials Planning-Evidence of a Twenty-First-Century Wedding

Part 2. Vanity, Fashion & Other Things We Shouldn't Care About

8. The Princess Industry

Are You High Maintenance?

9. Clothes For Her

On Pouf Dresses & Barefootedness

10. Clothes for him

Thinking Outside the Tux Box

11. Here, Wear this

Dictating Fashion to Guests, Friends & Family

Part 3. In the Thick of it

12. I am Woman, Hear me Order Monogrammed Napkins

Is "Feminist Wedding Planner" an Oxymoron? How to Deal with Your Impending Bridentity Crisis

13. Offbeat Grooms

The Buzzkill of Wedding Budgeting

14. Priorities & Percentages

The Buzzkill of Wedding Budgeting

15. It Takes a Village

With Friends Like These, Who Needs Vendors?

16. The Swag, Part 1: Invitations & RSVPS

How to Run Your Own Decorative-Paper Sweatshop or Say "Fuck It" & Use Email

17. The Swag, Part 2: Marital Marketing

Programs, Favors & Other Bridal Branding

18. Fork It Over

Wrangling a Registry, Online or Off

19. The Guest List

Feeling Like the Bouncer of Your Own Elitist Nightclub

20. Decor Fetishist

Getting from Here to Pretty Without Tripping Over Your Taste

21. Prefunk

Cloudy with a Chance of Showers, Bachelorette Parties & Other Excuses for Penis Cakes

Part 4. The Trifecta of Wedding Conflict: Loved ones, Ceremony & Sanity

22. Conflict Mediation

Using Therapy-Speak to Smooth Things Over

23. Ceremony without Sanctimony

Building Tradition from the Ground Up

24. Can I Borrow your Yarmulke?

Blending Traditions & Why the Seven Steps, Hand-Fasting & the Blood of Christ Aren't Mutually Exclusive

25. Whose Wedding is this?

Battling Over Ownership of Your Nuptials

26. Wrestling down the Aisle

Examining That Whole "Dad Gives You Away" Concept

27. Staying Sane

How to Keep Your Proverbial Shit Together

Part 5. The Wedding Itself

28. Thanks for Coming, Here's your Campsite!

And Other Creative Guest Accommodations

29. The Night Before

To Rehearse or Recreate? That Is the Question

30. Who the Hell are All These People?

Getting to Know Your Guests

31. The Paparazzi

Hiring Your Own Stalker So You Can Live the Dream of Being a Celeb for a Day

32. Holy Fuck, It's Actually Happening

Months of Planning Lead Up to Two Words: "I Do"

33. Let us Feed you

Yes, Carnivores, It's a Vegan Buffet

34. Toasted or Burnt?

Slurred Well-Wishings and Other Dangerous Proclamations

35. The Sugar High

Getting Your Friends & Family Hooked on a Dangerous Drug: Cake

36. Duck!

What Happens When No One Wants to Catch the Bouquet

37. Just say no to the Village People

The Role of Rhythm (or Arrhythmia) in the Contemporary Wedding Ceremony

38. Your, Mine, Ours

The Ins & Outs of Wedding Sex

Part 6. As the Dust Settles

39. Booty, Part 1: The Honeymoon

Nonvirgins Have Way More Fun

40. Booty, Part 2: The Gifts

Wading Through Blenders, Toasters & Acres of Thank You Cards

41. A Rose By Any Other Name

The Conundrum of Picking a Last Name

42. Postweddin' Depression

How to Cope Once the Tiara Is Put into Storage

43. Getting Wifed

The Answer to the Question "So, How's Married Life?"

Epilogue: The Wedding That Never Ends

Meet the Offbeat Brides (& A few Grooms)